SNEAKY VEGETABLES

Dear Mummy,

I hope you realise that we're fully aware of the fact that you regularly attempt to sneak those preposterous objects called 'vegetables' onto our dinner plates and hide them amongst our normal food.

We have noticed though, that sometimes you're not very skilled at concealing the grotesque produce within our menu, allowing us to simply yank them out and express our condemnation by hurling them across the table or letting them 'accidently' tumble to the floor.  When you blatantly stick those sprouting green trees, orange rubber sticks or lime green pebbles on our plates, we unabashedly retort by blowing massive raspberries with our tongues or by generating nauseating gagging noises directed at our cutlery.


On some occasions, you think you win the battle, as you're able to successfully and secretly sneak in the dreaded vegetable, without evoking any flamboyant reactions from us, as we devour our meal.  However, we do hold strong suspicions that you endeavour to ruin some of our favourite cuisines, such as our beloved spaghetti bolognese or lasagne, by grating these vicious veges into the mixture.  Lucky for you, we're unable to prove this theory because we fail to locate any foreign chunks and we're able to justify to ourselves that the yummy sauce must destroy the atrocious flavour of those absurd veges anyway.

On rare occasions, like last night, you can demonstrate that you're capable of completely outsmarting us.  You at first appeared defeated when we adamantly refused to touch or even look at the baby-poo coloured, pumpkin soup that you insolently served us.  In a feeble attempt to coerce us into tasting it, you strived to make it look pretty and sprinkled those horrid lime green pebbles on top of the yellowish mash.  Mummy, this was not a clever move.  If anything, this made us more resolved to test our bowls for their aerodynamic qualities. However, we made a huge mistake and severely underestimated your sneakiness.  Suddenly you jumped to your feet, struck by a brainwave.  We initially thought you were coming over to resign from the battle and concede defeat but instead, you whooshed past us and entered the kitchen.  Watching you intently, we witnessed you rummage around in the back of the forbidden alluring pantry.  Again, we guessed incorrectly that you were searching for our 'special treat' chocolate covered biscuits to reward us for our grit and determination.

Suddenly, unearthing what you were after, you returned to us brandishing a couple of colourful, bendy straws.  OMG Mummy, how'd you know that we'd be enticed, intrigued and unable to resist the magnetism of being able to consume our dinner with a straw?  Admittedly it turned out to be a fun exercise for all of us.  Linc and I enjoyed playing with the straws and chuckled a lot while trying to avoid sucking up those green pebbles and you appeared to smile contentedly and revel in your small victory.

Bravo Mummy! Bravo!

Just ... don't get used to it!  We'll be watching out for you and those sneaky vegetables.

Love Ollie and Linc xoxo
























Cookie Monster Photo Source: http://dantania.blogspot.com.au/2012/06/damned-vegetables.html