SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS

Dear Mummy,

We often wonder why you bother putting us in our own beds to begin with, when you and Daddy know that Linc and I like to migrate to your room at some stage during the night.  We do this because we like to comfort you with our presence as you both look so lonely in that big spacious bed.  It only makes perfect sense that we bridge the remaining gaps with our warm little bodies and sprawling arms and legs.

Linc, however, is only new to this game and does not quite understand how to achieve longevity out of his visit.  No matter what time he toddles out of bed to venture into your room, he makes too many mistakes along the way.  His first impudent blunder, is signalling you that he's coming, by dragging his musical car steering wheel, that does not support an off button, or some other cacophonous toy or singing book, behind him.  You must have grown immune to these unique sounds though, as sometimes, you amazingly don't stir at all.  Either that, or you're just pretending you don't hear his incoming approach.  Linc is persistent though.  If his first attempt fails to wake you, he ensures you're alerted to his arrival, when he reaches your bedroom door and proceeds to fling it open and slam it shut approximately eight times in a row.   If he hasn't received a pillow thrown in his general direction or a gruff sleepy command to 'cease and desist' by then, he always receives the attention he seeks by clambering onto to the bed to join us.  Usually he gets his desired reaction when he commando rolls, over your resting bodies, only to sit on your face with a loaded, squishy nappy.  Linc's strategy doesn't work in my favour at all though, as eventually, you bound out of bed like a cranky tigress, towing her cheeky cubs (including me), back to their cave.  Don't worry Mummy, Linc's still in training and I'll continue to teach him the ways of the ninja, to perfect the stealth maneuver into your bedroom and ultimately into the premium sleeping positions.

I, on the other hand, have had extensive experience in this area and have refined these night time rituals to accomplish success and avoid the risk of being carted back to my room and returned to my lonely bed.  By way of elimination I have deciphered the code.  If I prematurely fall asleep in your bed before you even get there, the next thing I know is, I magically wake up in my own bed, vaguely recalling dreams of being hoisted into the air and flying in the comforting arms of someone like Buzz Lightyear.  If I come in too early, when you've only just rested your head on your pillow, you pop out of bed, like a jack in the box or with the energy of Sportacus, from Lazy Town, quickly diverting any attempts to infiltrate your boudoir.

From culmination of all my experiments, I've realised that the perfect time to undertake my covert operations is when you've been asleep for a couple of hours and holding intense conversations with the sandman.  At this stage, your energy has completely depleted and you're in no mood to move over, let alone poke a leg out from under the blanket, to create a feeble attempt to defend yourselves from my attack.  The best method I've deduced, is to approach in stealth mode.  I dare not breathe too loudly and learning from past experience, I'm careful not to tread on sleeping cats.  At first I listen for the contented, symphony of snores and deep breathing emitting from both you and Daddy and then take this perfect opportunity to sneak into bed.  Lately I don't even gamble between which one of you I should snuggle up to and instead, simply slide stealthily into the bottom of your bed, near your feet and drift back to sleep.

Once I've achieved my secret squirrel maneuvers, the sleeping games commence.  Throughout the rest of the night, it's like a wonderfully choreographed synchronised swimming performance, smoothly interchanging positions and pillows.  Most mornings I discover that I have somehow hijacked your pillow and find you curled up at the end of the bed, breathing in Daddy's big toe and supporting my legs with your back.  Other mornings, either you or Daddy, are completely missing in action, only to be located, snuggled up and asleep, in my single bed.

Turn the baby into an above average toddler size and add another little person. That's us!

As each new day dawns and the sun cracks through the blinds, I'm not sure why we regularly hear you and Daddy mumbling something along the lines of 'lack of sleep'.  Mummy, we also wonder why you often complain about having a sore neck and query why Daddy whinges about cramps in his legs.  We can't understand this.  We always feel rejuvenated after each tranquil sleep, ready to embark on the day and eager to start devising the next midnight raid.

Love Ollie xoxo







Photo Source: Baby Sleep Positions: http://deescribbler.typepad.com/my_weblog/2012/02/co-sleeping.html