BIKIE WARS

Dear Mummy,

Do you like the 'Brothers In Arms' gang we've recently formed?  We think it's really cool that you let us cruise around outside, despite the constant wet weather.  When performing circle work and lapping the patio up and down, we love to feel the crisp wind rip through our hair and the water which sprays sporadically over our legs.

Linc complains he's at a disadvantage with his short stumpy legs, so I generously ride the little plastic scooter, rather than my large dirt bike, to put us on an even playing field.  Secretly I prefer the smaller bike anyway, because the faster I go, the louder it becomes.  On some occasions, specifically when you're on that loathsome phone, you have been known to impound my bike for the noise pollution it emits.

As we don't come across many other rival gangs in our backyard, it can sometimes turn into brutal bikie wars, within our own club and just between the two of us.  Mummy, although you have appeared to gather some pretty damning photographic evidence of Linc being thrown from his bike, please be assured that Linc admits that he likes to do this himself, to add a bit of dramatic flair.  Don't you Linc?

If the sun, which you assure us is still lurking in the sky, ever pops it's head out of those big fluffy clouds, can you please arrange for our gang to have its first debut down the main drag strip in town?  If not, maybe you could set us loose in the park or along the esplanade.  We'd love to stop our internal club fights and find some other unsuspecting bikie gangs to play dodge 'em cars with.

When we do get to venture out into the big world beyond our fence, we want request a couple of things;  Firstly, please don't confiscate our bikes, especially in front of other opposing gangs, as that would be mortifying.  Secondly, we're also sure that the other Mums wouldn't embarrass their gang members, by giving them big squishy hugs and smoochy kisses each time they crack a lap.  We love you but we certainly wouldn't want to be accused of, or beaten up for being Mummy's boys.

Love Ollie and Linc xoxo  (Brothers In Arms)