LITTLE HELPERS

Dear Mummy,

We struggle to understand why, when we offer our services, that you often say to us, "Thank you, but I don't need your help".  We know you love to be independent and self reliant but we are such wonderful little helpers, ready to assist in every moment and activity, that we think you're silly for rejecting our proposals of help.

When you ask us to clean up our room, it might be a slow process, but I like to pick up each toy individually, play with it, to assess its condition and examine it, to ensure it's still functional.  There is no point putting things away if they simply do not pass my rigorous inspection test. I maneuver planes to ensure they remain aerodynamic, trains to make sure my "toot toot" sound continues to work in conjunction with them and cars to see if they are still able to crash through lego blocks, drive over Linc's head and swerve in and out of obstacles without breaking down.  What I don't understand is why you need to rush this systematic approach.

Linc likes to help out too by gathering up as many toys as his little arms will allow. Instead of dumping them in the designated area though, he scampers out of the room because he likes to help you find new homes for them.  This procedure alleviates the problem that our toy box is too full.  We also believe it helps you because you don't need to rummage for something for us to play with later, as our toys are already conveniently scattered around the house.  As this streamlines things for you and makes playtime more efficient, our assistance must be extremely beneficial.

We like it when you cook but especially love it when you bake.  Most times you actively seek to get us involved.  Within minutes though and for unknown reasons, our help is suddenly no longer required.  Last week we would've like to help you clean up that cupcake I tried to grow halfway down the cupboard and the flour that Linc sifted onto the cat but you distracted us with other, not so imminent, projects to help you instead, such as colouring in Postman Pat. We managed to help you lick clean those beaters though. Lucky you have us to tackle that job.

Daddy allows us to follow him around and assist with garden jobs sometimes, but also gets quite agitated when we are only trying to help.  I love to stand between him and that noisy lawn mower to help push it around.  However, I don't understand why he always insists on going in a straight line and at a faster pace.  We're also dumfounded as to why, Daddy herded us back inside the moment Linc tried to help him with the car.  Linc thought it was a good idea, whilst Daddy was under the bonnet, to copy him and pick up the screwdriver and start whacking the rest of the car with it.  Our favourite time to assist Daddy though, is when he washes the ute.  Taking turns with the hose, we help him to water the lawn, the sky, the letterbox, the dog and ourselves.  Daddy should cherish our help as this saves him time from having to take a shower.

When you wipe the walls, we love to help with crayon and chalk.  We offer our assistance, when you vacuum, by trying to de-flea the dog.  Dropping new rolls of dunny paper into the bowl soaks up excess water which supports you in cleaning the toilet.  Whilst shopping, I like to run a few aisles ahead of you to check out the specials and Linc likes to help select things off the shelves to save you from reaching over.  To help you save money, we hide your purse.  To relieve the boredom whilst driving, we occasionally produce loud screeching noises from the backseat to entertain you.  Picking the flowers in your garden before you knew they were there, gives you extra time to do other things.  As we both love helping you mop the floor, we wrestle with each other to decide whose turn it is, rather than you having to make that decision.  Saving you time, we like to help you web surf and write gibberish emails to your friends.  We enjoy educating you on the remote controls and helping you find buttons that you never knew existed or can never find again.  On that rare occasion, when you have nothing to do, we like to remedy the situation and create chaos and produce frenzied clutter, filling your time and generating other opportunities for us to help.

We are your special little helpers and believe that you should utilise our assistance more often.

Love Ollie and Linc xoxo 

P.S. Sometimes we catch you trying to sneak things into the wheelie bin or gather mail from the letter box without our assistance.  Just in case it isn't obvious from our screams, we don't like it when you do this.  They're our jobs.