LOCKED OUT

Dear Mummy,

I'm not sorry for locking you and Ollie out of the house this morning.  You were occupied on the phone, chatting to one of your friends, whilst Ollie was playing outside without me.  I just figured that I'd teach you both a lesson for ignoring me.

You should have seen the look on your faces when you realised that I was not only able to reach but also activate the locking mechanism, on the big glass sliding door, from the inside.  It was amusing the way you and Ollie commenced shouting instructions to me through the door.  The use of melodramatic arm movements was captivating and the funny faces you created were absurd.  As I was struggling to decipher this strange new language and dance, I thought I'd take advantage and use this rare opportunity instead.  Finally I got to tug on that cord you avidly refuse to let me touch and to freely visit that large cold room where you keep our big white car and all of Daddy's fun tools.  You shouldn't have worried though because I wasn't in there for long and toddled straight back out to watch your crazy antics which were much more entertaining.

I think you eventually realised that I was not going to reverse the lock because I was staring at you through the thick glass, like you were a creature from another planet.  Watching you check all the other windows and doors was fun too.  Mummy, you looked a little frantic and I'm not sure why.  You think you'd be happy that all your security screens on the windows were immovable and that they were all closed anyway, keeping the rain out.

I don't know why you suddenly worried about only wearing a flimsy house dress without a supporting bra or pair of shoes.  Ollie later told me that, although you weren't very graceful, you looked quite pretty, in the rain, scaling that rickety six foot fence in a last ditch attempt to check the other side of the house and laundry door.  I'm certain that our neighbours thought so too.

After the fence debacle, you discovered you were proud of another security measure.  The laundry screen door was key locked.  For a minute I lost sight of you, but then you came back with Ollie.  I can only assume you also managed to maneuver him awkwardly over the fence.  By the way, I don't know why you and Daddy don't put a gate in that backyard fence for moments like these.

Without giving up, you encouraged Ollie to become a contortionist and pretend he was a cat so he'd crawl through the small cat flap in the bottom of the door.  You looked relieved when he just barely managed to squeeze through the little opening without getting wedged in the flap.  Lucky for you, Ollie was able to follow through with your instructions and retrieve the house keys thus allowing you access to re-enter the house.

By the end of the whole saga, I was happy to see you and Ollie.  I was getting a bit bored and really wanted someone to play with. 

Mummy, I think you were a being a little over dramatic when you mentioned to Daddy that you had visions of fire trucks and strangers coming to assist you, in your inappropriate attire, "to help rescue our trapped two year old and to pry our three and a half year old out of the laundry door using the 'jaws of life'."  I just hope you have learned your lesson and will remember not to ignore me again.

 Love Linc xoxo