PHONE GAMES

Dear Mummy,

Why is it, when we really want to show you something important, or ask you urgent questions, or need to tell you some vital information, or the minute we want to share a monumental discovery, you decide to pick up the phone?  Mummy, we find it very inconvenient that you choose that precise moment to divert your attention down a small plastic block, that you call the "fone", at the same vital instant we need to communicate with you.

For some unknown reason you don't answer our earnest questions.  We think it's due to one of your ears already being occupied that you don't really hear us, which is why we just talk louder.  Sometimes we have to resort to squeaking at high decibel levels, that even dogs are repelled by, because we are worried you have lost your ability to hear.  At times we try to address this issue by tugging at your arms, fingers, hair or whatever else is accessible at the time.  Last time Daddy was on the phone, his hearing was so bad that we had to pull his pants down and be dragged the length of the hallway to get his attention.

We also don't understand why you move from room to room, with the phone pressed tightly against one ear and your finger wedged down the other.  As if your hearing isn't bad enough!  We don't mind this so much because one of our favourite games is to play 'follow the leader' with you.  Currently we are champions at this game and pride ourselves at being able to stick close to your heels no matter how fast you move.  Regardless of which room you go to though, your hearing never improves as our questions go unanswered.

Mummy, we love it when you decide to go outside with the phone, because this means we can hop on our bikes and crunch the gravel on the concrete beneath our big plastic wheels.  It's really funny, because most of the times when we do this you actually take your finger out of your ear and start waving your arms around like a crazy lady.  We haven't worked out if you are encouraging us to go faster on our trikes, doing one of your funny dances or whether you are chasing flies away or being attacked by invisible moths.  Linc thinks you're dancing and I think it's the moths.
 

We do wonder why though, that whenever we play with the phone you chase us around the house, telling us to put it down and not call overseas, yet when you pick up the phone, we try to return the favour and ask you to speak to us instead of the phone, you just tell us to "Ssshhhh!" or blurt out short cranky sentences.  We know you don't like to have something you call "two-reds" syndrome when you're on the phone but we figure, when you have that severe hearing loss, it's our chance to climb that sharp massive rock in the backyard, or to continue our wrestling match, or to find out how long the cat's tail will stretch or to help you complete and send that email you were working on.

However, we do like it when you play that "Ssshhhh" game with us.  Mummy, you may as well give up because we win every time.  We can always say "Ssshhhh" louder and the longer than you do and we even manage to generate spit bubbles when we do it.  We've never seen you do that, but it does make you start flailing your arms about as you begin to play "follow the leader" again.  Gosh Mummy, you're funny! 

Don't get us wrong though.  We really love that little plastic block with those really cool buttons that beep and light up, which is why, when it makes loud noises, we drop whatever we're doing and scamper from all corners of the house to answer it first.  Another game we're good at winning.

Love Ollie and Linc xoxo