MUMMY, PLEASE DON'T GET BORED AND DIE

Dear Mummy,

Over the last couple of months, Linc and I often wondered why you would sneak away to crouch in an empty corner, only to rock back and forth, drool and mutter gibberish to yourself.  We've finally deciphered that you must have been mourning the death of your old computer... or perhaps it's Mother.

Initially, you eyed us suspiciously and rashly decided it had something to do with Linc and I cramming twenty cent pieces in the dvd drives as if we were expecting it to spit out freddo frogs.  Well, although we were disappointed that it didn't dispense any chocolate, we must admit that we're extremely grateful that no conclusive evidence was found, to suggest that this was the cause of the major issue.  We're certainly relieved the problems weren't able to be traced back to our coin deposits, our insistent OCD button pushing or to us, in any way. (Insert big sigh here - Phew!)

Although innocent, we didn't want to risk this status and ask what had happened to your beloved computer, however, one day we overheard you say it was because 'the mother got board and died'.

We just wanted to let you know that this scared us immensely, as we'd hate to see you end up in the wheelie bin too, especially as a result of severe boredom. So, Mummy, we've made an executive decision to ensure things around here do not become monotonous or stagnant.  Just when you think you have us adhering to a mundane and safe routine, we'll promise to veer off course, encounter endless speed bumps and throw everything out of whack.  We'll also strive to entertain you with our absurd behaviour, amusing, yet cryptic, anecdotes and quirky ways.  This, we endeavour to keep up around the clock, in public or at home, throughout the day and well into the night.  Linc and I concur that sacrificing our sleep time is worth gratifying you and keeping everything spontaneous.  You've also probably noticed that we've already begun to increase our random demands for drinks, bananas, biscuits and anything containing traces of sugar, and that we continue to insist on hurling our vegetables to the floor in disgust.  We do this to keep you active.

We solemnly vow to keep you on your toes so that you don't get bored, like that old computer's mother, because we don't want you to ever give up and throw yourself dramatically onto a scrap heap too.

Mummy, please don't get bored and die.  We love you too much and besides, who would read our letters then?


Love Ollie and Linc xoxo